John to consultant: Alexander (boss) told me that I would get a two month bonus by Jan 13. Yesterday at lunch, I reminded him, and he said, “I never promised you anything like that.”
Ira (who works with John but in another department) to consultant: Alexander makes up decisions ex post facto, so you can’t win with him. But I’m 65, with two years to go till my pension, so fuck it. What do I care!
Consultants can find themselves in a quandary in such situations. What is the best approach to take when confronted with stories like those told about CEO Alexander?There are 3 approaches which I want to map out.
- Manipulation
Managers do use selective memory loss as a tool to change decisions, wiggle themselves out of an uncomfortable situation, or de-commit from something they promised because reality changed. So, let’s be real – this all could be part of CEO Alexander’s strategy when the going gets rough. Look for that pattern: that’s always my default action plan. In my 45 years of experience, I would estimate that “poor memory” is very very often best explained (away) as a manipulation of some sort.
- Organizational memory is poor
At times, different people remember different things, especially when ambiguous terms (“at the beginning of next year”) or sensitive promises to clients (“it should be fully functional by the spring”). If key decisions are not documented via a plan of record, or a meeting summary, or a text message, then it is organizational memory that needs to be the focus. However, often an organization will push back on too much decision clarity as it is seen as backing oneself into a corner.
- Oh shit, it IS memory loss
In the unfortunate case that there is lots of smoke, and perhaps you yourself has encountered the memory eclipse, the first step is to find out if the client is going through a stressful rough patch. If so, discuss the stress with the client. If the memory loss is not stress related, my suggestion is to wait until you and the client remember things differently, on several occasions, and then-discuss the option of seeing the relevant professional health provider.
